We live in a sensuous universe. The energy of our spirit and the energy of our feelings are most alike. Spiritual energy is not anything like the energy of our thoughts, attitudes, principles, beliefs or values. As we become progressively more aware of our feelings, we discover that they are actually an integral part of our inner guidance system, connecting us directly with the wisdom of our spirit. 

Most of us go through life treating our feelings like weeds along the highway. As we make a habit of feeling all our feelings—instead of thinking about or ignoring them—we become more spiritually evolved. The first three habits: Breathe out strong, stand tall and feel all your feelings give us such a solid foundation that we can withstand anything life throws at us.

Spiritual energy is similar to the energy of our feelings. Our emotions are heavier, denser while our spiritual energy is lighter, more ethereal. 

Our spirit is not confined by time or space. The physical body is, but not our spirit. To our spirit everything is happening here and now. When we meet someone new, our spirit is instantly taking in the full measure of that woman or man. The feelings and impressions we get at that first meeting turn out to be our spirit’s exact preview of how we will feel about that person if we engage with them in the future. Paying attention to our first impressions gives us priceless information.

If someone invites you to a function that’s occurring three weeks from now, the instant they start talking about it our spirit is at that function, experiencing it as if it is happening here and now. To our spirit, it is. The feelings and impressions we get in those first moments is our spirit’s exact preview of how we will feel if we go to that event three weeks from now.

Feelings are more important than anything our brain thinks. Feelings that we do not experience build up pressure inside our body, especially negative feelings. As the pressure of our feelings build, they magnify any pain or dysfunction we have. Pain that builds up from unfelt feelings is considerably more painful than physical pain. 

Physical pain rarely exceeds a four on a one-to-ten pain scale. When pain builds to a seven or eight, you can safely bet that seventy to eighty percent of the pain is emotional. The emotional pressure causes the average person’s brain generates 70,000 thought forms per day. 

Worse, unfelt feelings cause our brain to generate thousands of toxic thoughts and actions that we would never actually script if we knew that we were writing the screenplay of our life. Those thoughts forms are confined to the past, the future or some past/future construct. The brain’s version of the past drags heavy chains of shame, guilt and missed opportunities. Its version of the future projects worry, fear, anger, irritations and all our other unfelt feelings into its projections. 

Life’s a drag when our brain is in charge. The brain is simply not capable of creating our world in a loving manner.

Feeling our feelings releases the pressure that would otherwise generate toxic thoughts. As a result, our mind quiets and calms. Peace of mind naturally floats up into our awareness.


Forgiveness is simply feeling the hurtful or irritating feelings that stand between us and difficult others. Mentally, we never actually forget when someone does something hurtful to us, but that’s not the painful part of the experience. The pain of any memory comes from feelings that we only think about or sweep under the rug. They build up inside us creating a wall between that person and us. Paradoxically, the painful feelings also act like grappling hooks, linking their actions to us. 

Forgiveness does not mean we are letting the person get away with their toxic actions. It’s quite the opposite. Experiencing painful feelings dissolves our emotional links to that incident. Because we are spiritual beings, when we are taken out of the spiritual equation, causing them to confront their own actions.

People don’t do bad things because they are evil. They do it because they think it's no big deal. And it isn’t until it happens to them. Then they get how big of a deal it is.

We all learn experientially. Until a painful event actually happens to us, it’s abstract, immaterial. When someone does to them what we have forgiven, they actually become aware of how painful their actions are to others. That is the beginning of understanding.

Forgiveness changes everything, the past, the present and the future. It rewrites the DNA of each person involved. This subject is so crucial to our development that it will be written about in more detail in both the fire and water elements. 

Set a Goal and Fears Immediately Come Up
As soon as we commit to a goal, fears always come up. Always! As we feel the fears, they shrink down to mice-size and then dissolve into nothingness. 

 If we do not actually feel the feelings, the build-up of pressure in our bodymind causes our brain to build ever-increasing fearful thoughts. If we only think about the fears, the thoughts keep building in intensity until we see no way around them. As they continue to build up, they can seem like the sixty-feet tall fire-breathing dragons—the monsters of our old mythologies. 

Under the brain's onslaught of negative thoughts and stories, the courage of our heart wilts. Our earlier bravado gets nudged aside by the onslaught of fearful thoughts. Our heroic journey starts to seem like a bad idea, and yet another noble dream or plan goes unfulfilled.

Anytime we commit to doing a bold action, but don’t actually experience the fears that come up, the fears usually win out. That’s why it’s so important to feel all the negative feelings that invariably come up. If we ignore a pervasive fear, it's like turning our back on a junkyard dog. The unresolved fears come up and bite you on the backside.

The Dance that We Do
Everyone is telepathic. Everyone. Most people are still trying to remain unconscious at this time, but on the meta-conscious level, the level of our spirit, everyone hears our thoughts. It is important to understand that our thoughts impact others. Thoughts have powerful effects.

People react to our thought forms as if they heard what we were thinking. Their spirit took in what we were thinking about them. As a result, when we think about others, our more potent thoughts cause the other person to respond by thinking reciprocal thoughts as a response. 

If I cherish someone, they tend to cherish me back. If I think an angry thought toward them, they tend to respond with either an angry, resentful or self-depreciating thought form back to me. This is the dance we all do many times a day.

While you are thinking or talking negatively about someone, that person will tend to act out. Because of your feelings about them, they tend to act out when they are around you, or even if your name is mentioned. But they don't necessarily act out toward you. You think they are a jerk, so they act like a jerk, especially when you are around or even if your name is mentioned. Isn’t that interesting?

Life gets so much better when we actually feel the negative feelings we have about others, or about ourselves. As we feel the negative feelings, including more subtle feelings like frustration or irritation, the feelings dissolve. The feelings, along with their negative attachments are no longer in our body. We have released them. 

As soon as we feel the negative feelings, our mind quits generating negative thoughts about that person. Negative attachments that would keep us attached to them in dysfunctional ways simply dissolve. After we feel the negative feelings about them, our heart just naturally loves them for who they are. Magically, our thoughts about them also change.

It is not only important how we treat others when we are in their presence. We also need to assume more responsibility about how we treat them when they are not in our presence. This includes how we feel about them, talk about them and think about them, not just how we treat them when we are in their presence.

Quantum physics, which is the physics that describes who we are as spiritual beings, describes it this way:

  • Everything, every phenomena or event has up to 360 degrees of possibility waves and up to 360 degrees of probability waves that determine how it will turn out
  • When we focus our attention on it, our attention encodes our beliefs, attitudes, values, desires, fears and suspicions. Our attention effectively collapses all but a few degrees of the waves of probability and even the waves of possibility
  • The power of our attention causes it to turn out pretty much like we thought it would

We could say that it would have turned out that way no matter what we thought. No! Not necessarily. Not if we hadn’t focused our attention on it! The power of our attention influences everything we focus on.

We have to remember, it’s all energy—actually consciousness—a dance we are having with others. There are no “one-way thoughts.” We exist in relationship with others and all of life. Part of being impeccable is assuming that everyone and everything responds to our thoughts as if they are hearing us. On the level of our spirit, they are.

Excerpted from Body Intelligence, A New Paradigm by John L. Mayfield, D.C.